Friday night for me mean one thing... Date Night.
Which 9 times out of 10 looks like curling up on the Sofa with Yvonne with a few snacks in hand as we negotiate for 45 minutes on which movie to watch.
If Yvonne has her way (she often does), we'll watch a chick flick.
Last Friday, after some strong negotiation, I wiggled my way out of watching La La Land by the skin of my teeth, putting forward another movie we've had our eyes on for a while.
Now, I had no idea the movie we'd watch would have the impact on me that it did.
It's name- Okja.
If you haven't heard of it, the trailer is here.
As the end titles ran, I was a sobbing mess.
The movie had made me think about my choice to eat meat and animal products.
We live a largely vegetarian diet already but as the film ended, I said to Yvonne I wanted to make even more conscious choices, cutting out animal products more from my diet.
I lay in bed Friday evening, questioning HOW this movie had the impact it did.
I was curious as my conviction to make the change to consume less animal produces was strong (and still is) strong.
I questioned, why is it sometimes change seems like a huge push forward whereas other times it feels effortless like we're being pulled forward?
These are my thoughts.
Love vs Shame.
When we try and motivate ourselves to change, often we come from a place of SHAME.
The voice of self-criticism rears its ugly head.
In an attempt to get ourselves to the Gym, we may gaze in the mirror telling ourselves 'look how big you've gotten, you look disgusting, get to the gym'.
We see this too when others attempt to motivate us into change.
I've had vegan facebook friends post statuses like; ''Enjoy your animal corpses, meat-eaters''.
Again, an attempt to shame others into making a change.
Although, this is rarely effective because no one enjoys the feeling of Shame. When we experience feelings of shame our energetic vibration is around 20 Hz. Shame is the emotion that vibrates at the lowest frequency.
It's no wonder then, Shame isn't an effective catalyst for bringing about changes.
There is another choice, why I believe may be the Key (or at least a large determining factor) in making lasting changes... Love.
'The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge'.
- Bertrand Russell
Watching Okja, My heart was stolen by this giant fictional pig.
I felt genuine compassion for Okja and the main character, Mija.
It's connecting with this Love and Compassion which has changed the way I think about eating animal products. Through the eyes of Love and Compassion, I'm able to see the choices I have and their impact.
Compared to the heaviness of Shame, Love feels light and it feels right!
Going back to my example of self-motivation to get fitter, imagine if LOVE was a motivator rather than SHAME.
Imagine if Self-Love was a reason for going to the gym.
Imagine if the thoughts sounded more like ''I love and honour my body, which is why I'm going to make some changes''.
In contrast, doesn't this feel a world away from Shame?
I think choosing Love as a motivator offers more ease in the change process.
Teachers + Parents - rather than shaming students for their low grades, come from a place of love and help them to see their potential.
Leaders - rather than shaming staff for poor performance, step into their shoes and understand any challenges your staff are facing that you can support them with.
To yourself.
What Loving reasons can you find to make the changes you wish to make?
If you enjoyed this and want more inspiration & tools to think better, feel better, and live better - then here is what you can do right now...
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