Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold- Helen Keller
3 Years. 3 Years I've been in the Coaching game.
During this time, I've Coached hundred of people dotted all around the Globe.
But no matter who I'm speaking to, whether they're old or young, a man or a woman, I'm certain of 2 things.
The person I coach will have 1. Dreams 2. Fears.
The way I see it, it's like a tug of war between the Head and the Heart.
The Heart is concerned with dreams, passion, adventure.
The Head worries, ruminates, doubts.
No sooner will the person I'm Coaching share a dream or a goal before the Head butts in with a What if or a Yeah but.
If the dream is the accelerator, fear is the brake.
When we're fearful we're safe, at the cost of our dreams.
Going for dreams, it's risky business in the eyes of the mind, but do you know I believe is even riskier?
Not facing our fears.
Not finding out just what is possible.
Letting the voice of Fear decide how we choose to live our lives.
We must face our fears, here are 3 reasons why...
1. Not facing our fears, gives them power.
In Stephen Briers book, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, he makes a great point.
Every time you act in a way which is consistent with your negative thoughts (or fears) you are unconsciously reinforcing the notion that it must be true!
This reminded me of a Fear of mine- the fear of being called out for not being good enough. You may or may not know, I LOVE to make music, I play the piano and the guitar and have a go at singing too.
A little while ago I had a crazy insight pop up from my heart 'I should make some music today AND go live on Facebook and share it with others'.
Although a part of me was excited to make this insight happen, the voice of Fear stepped up, uninvented, with a what if.
What If people laugh?
What If I make a mistake?
What if I'm criticised?
I caught this, the What ifs and decided to do a little experiment.
I was going to go Live, play Piano and Sing, and see if the voice of Fear had any validity.
I went live on Facebook. My hands were shaking as I played piano. My voice wasn't perfect as I sang. But... people were kind.
My fears did not become a reality.
If you think about, how many of our worries and fears do come true?
Certainly not all of them. But when we don't address our fears, when we don't test them for truth, the unconscious assumption is they must still be true.
Next time you notice the voice of Fear pop, why not run a little experiment and test your fear? You may just be surprised at the results.
2. Opportunities live on the other side of Fear.
Think back to the first day of School.
For many, a terrifying day for most children (and parents).
On the other side of this initial fear lives tremendous opportunities for new friendships and an education.
The fear of public speaking, reportedly one of the biggest Fears globally.
What opportunities exist on the other side of this Fear? Well, the ability to speak to groups confidently opens up many doors personally and professionally.
The Fear of Flying.
On the other side of this Fear, the world really is your oyster.
What if we began to view Fear as not simply a sign of danger, but often a sign of opportunity?
What if we were to view Fear as fuel, energy, for performing our best, knowing opportunity awaits us on the other side?
3. Facing our Fears grows our Confidence.
When I help my clients to face their fears and begin to create their dreams, their Confidence levels increase.
Why is this?
Well, as we face our fears, we realise we're much more powerful than the voice of Fear will have us believe. When we question and test Fear's prediction, we soon realise they have little validity.
So in no time at all, my clients change the way they see themselves. They begin to see themselves as people who move towards fear instead of away. Even if the voice of Fear was valid and a problem does arise, we're able to solve it or learn from it. Which is impossible if we accept Fear for fact and don't challenge our assumptions about this.
This Year, how will you lean into your Fears a little bit more?
What impact do you feel this will have in all areas of your life?
As always, thank you for reading.
If this has been of value to you, leave me a comment with your biggest takeaway and share with someone you love who needs to read this too!
Life Coach helping you to feel POWERFUL, see what is POSSIBLE and live with PRESENCE.
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