I smiled back at him.
''May I offer a different way of looking at your situation''?
This is what I told him...
''You will never reach your potential. Because your potential expands and grows as YOU expand and grow. The moment you get closer towards your current potential, your potential becomes greater. Your potential is playful, like an elusive dance partner. You step forward, she steps forward. It's a game''.
My Client's eyes were wide and shining with excitement.
''Wow, I've never thought of it that way. I've always been so serious about reaching my potential so realising it's a game feels... better''.
''You are already enough. I know when we're frustrated with ourselves our thoughts can convince us we're not enough right now. You were born enough, moving towards your potential and having, being, and doing more will not make you more enough. Remember that''.
I then shared with him a powerful distinction when it comes to motivating ourselves.
It comes from Steve Chandler's Book 'Crazy Good'. The distinction is - Game vs Shame.
Most people use shame to try and motivate themselves to change. They get frustrated with themselves. They ruminate about how bad things are. They beat themselves up in their heads, with the hope that if they can just shame themselves enough, maybe it'll be enough to change.
This rarely works.
Instead of using shame to motivate yourself - create Games.
Games are fun. Games are playful, and light.
Look at children, they can turn anything into a game!
My client & I agreed to make moving towards his potential FUN.
To drop the shame, and create games. To make personal challenges that have him outside of his comfort zone and taking action. To use rewards to encourage positive changes.
And it's working!
He's moving towards his potential quicker and easier whilst experiencing more fun and freedom.
Some questions for you think about: