Fear can feel like a Tidal Wave that sweeps us off our feet, making us feel powerless.
One unwanted, negative thought soon becomes sweaty palms, a racing heart and a bombardment of negative thoughts.
You best not Screw up!
This is important!
Don't embarrass yourself!
People are going to laugh at you!
Why would people take you seriously!
This is going to end in disaster!
It seems that these thoughts always come at the worst times for us too, moments before we deliver a Speech or have a Job interview. Why now? we question our minds. Am I normal?
Negative, Fear-inducing thoughts are draining and irritating. They are also, Normal.
Our mind's #1 role is Survival. It scans the world on the look out for danger and threats. Any experience that appears threatening to our survival and our minds will let us know of the danger. This instinct is appreciated when we are in a genuine Life-Threatening situation however when we have a Speech to deliver to management, it's not so welcomed.
Before I share the go-to phrase when experiencing fearful negative thoughts, there is one important thing to consider.
Our general attitude towards these type of thoughts.
It's natural to feel embarrassed and angry with ourselves when unwanted thoughts pop up. This rarely works in stopping the flow of thoughts, though, if anything we make things worse. You will rarely win in an argument with your mind.
Instead, thank your mind. Show appreciation by thanking it for making you aware of the importance of the situation. Understand that your mind has your best interests at heart and acknowledge this. Reassure your Mind that you have the situation covered. Send it some Love. Visualize a bright, white light entering the top of your head, sending gratitude and love to your mind.
The following phrase helps in distancing ourselves from our thoughts. Why?
We are not our thoughts. The less we identify with our negative thoughts, the less power they have over us.
The phrase is:
I'm experiencing the thought that...
Here is an example. Let's say the thought pops into your head that 'Today's project is going to be a complete disaster'.
If you were to allow the thought to grow by giving it time and headspace, you would begin to imagine how that would look, how that would feel. Soon, the thought would begin to feel very real.
However, add the phrase to make it I'm experiencing the thought that Today's project is going to be a complete disaster.
This reiterates you are only experiencing the thought. It isn't happening in real life.
It is only a passing idea. No more than a Cloud passes across the Sky.
By adding the phrase, it keeps you in control and stops the thought from progressing into further negative thoughts.
See your thoughts for what they are, only thoughts. They are not facts. They are not the truth.
Practice this rephrasing over the next few days and whenever you feel that a thought is beginning to have power over you.
I hope that this tool serves you.
Thank you for reading,
P.S one of the ways I help my Clients is by supporting them in moving past fear and into action. If I can support you in combating fear and moving forward with your goals, reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will arrange a Free and Confidential Coaching Conversation.
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