In truth, so much of life is outside of our control and events happen, not because of our actions, well, they just happen. Why? Perhaps one of the most perplexing questions we can ask.
Why do terrible events happen? I'm far from certain. Some may say 'It's God's way', which may offer some degree of comfort.
What I am certain of is this- adding shame and guilt, on top of grief, shock, and sadness, never serves us.