Let's be honest- you are a bit of a Loser.
There are heaps more people in the world who are more successful, better looking; richer, sexier, and a hell of a lot more popular than you.
Do you see them? Just look around you.
As you read that, how did you feel?
Are you going to let me write about you like that?
If I told you this to your face, would you nod along in agreement or would you give me a good bop on the nose? Good for you if you would do the latter!
But I have a question, why talk to yourself like that?
It's not hard to become disheartened these days and to end up talking to ourselves in this critical and negative way. Facebook and Instagram are perfect catalysts for those moments of self-pity and dissatisfaction, staring at our phone screens admiring how well everyone else seems to be doing.
'Wow, Paul from primary school has got it all! A new car. New job. He's married. He's a home owner and he's got triplets'.
Sure, there may be people who seem more 'Successful' (what ever that even means to you) but do you ever stop to notice how many people are worse off than you? In the eyes of many people in the world, you have it all. Access to clean water, a roof over your head, opportunities for an education and employment.
So why do we do this?
Here is the thing, comparing ourselves to others is a natural and inherited instinct. It's important that we are able to quickly analyze others to see how similar they are to us and ultimately to decide whether or not they are a threat to our survival. All though this ability has a positive intention and served us when we were living in caves and survived in tribes, this is not a habit we want to strengthen and practice in 2016.
It's exhausting, childish and doesn't serve us.
Consider that you became more 'Successful', maybe you get a pay rise, buy yourself a house, you'll still be comparing yourself to the guy or gal above you on the next rung of the ladder.
That person who is earning, even more money and has the bigger house. Where will it end?
Unless you stop with the comparing you will still feel that sense of jealously or dissatisfaction.
I have an alternative.
How would things be different if:
1. The only person you compared yourself to was the person you were yesterday? If, you had a healthy sense of competition with just yourself, and was always striving to improve yourself yet at the same time, knew you were enough right now?
2. You only paid attention to your own greatness, your own successes and the things that make you admirable in the eyes of others?
Do you think a Lion looks at a Zebra and says ''Oh, I wish I had her stripes- they really make her look slim'? No, the Lion is too busy grooming his beautiful Coat and mauling Antelope with his huge teeth to care.
Do you reckon Seagulls look down at the Fish and think 'Why do they have fins and we're stuck here with these stupid wings'? No, they are too busy soaring through the skies and searching for the next unsuspecting head to crap on.
Have you ever considered, people will be comparing themselves to you and admiring you? You have qualities, quirks, skills and strengths that are completely unique to you. No one in the world can boast exactly what you have.
Now if by comparing yourself to others you identify areas of your own life you wish to improve that is fine. Do you want more money? Great, you can make this happen. Do you want to be taller? Sorry, you'll have to love yourself at the height you are.
Now please, stop comparing yourself to others. Realize how unique you are and the greatness that lies within you. When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, remind yourself that they, like you, have strengths and imperfections.
With love, Will
If i can support you further with embracing your greatness and kicking out the bad habits and thoughts that you are living with, reach out to me and lets arrange a Free and Confidential coaching call. Get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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